1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
