If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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