respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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