They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
