we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
