Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
