I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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