break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You made out with two different species that night
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
