i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
