it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
