she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You've changed since you got that strap on
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize