And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
