That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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