I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize