Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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