best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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