dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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