Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
