You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
