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• (904): View more from Florida

  So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy

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• (386): View more from Florida

  That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.

  (954): View more from Florida

  Apparently hers is a theme park.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.

  (289): View more from Ontario

  I'll be there at 7:59.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!

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