you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
