Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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