At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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