the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
