The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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