if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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