Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
