goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
