I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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