Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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