I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
