hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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