I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
