hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize
