and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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