my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Naked. naked and bneed help.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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