Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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