I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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