Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
