Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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