Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
pop tarts are not kleenex
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
