D3 body, D1 cock
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
