we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
