i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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