I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
