do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
