She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize