I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
