so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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