Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
only you would photoshop your dick
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
