dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
