this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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