you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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