just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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