it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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