Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
