i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
